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SO WHAT IS DEPRESSION?
Well first thing's first - depression is not the same as you feeling down because you've had a bad day. It's not the same as you feeling sad because its raining and you failed that test. Depression is (1) something that never goes away. It can last for months, years - and it never gets any better. if you start to see a pattern in your feelings- you feel down for four days or more, every two weeks - maybe you should consult your GP for medical help; it may be evidence of depression.
(1)There are many different symptoms that sufferers of depression have. They have a complete lack of energy and may feel tired a lot. They tend to sleep an awful lot as well (a friend of mine has consistent naps throughout the day) (1) complete lack of confidence and self esteem - as well as the obvious symptom of feeling sad a lot. Sufferers also may find it hard to concentrate or make decisions - They also push people away and try to isolate themselves in case they end up hurting others or bringing them down with them . Sufferers also find it hard to enjoy things. Find it hard to full 'let go of worries and just feel pleasure'. (1)They also tend to feel guilt a lot and 'worthlessness' Weirdly enough - even though sufferers may sleep a lot through the day, they actually have trouble falling asleep at night. could this may have something to do with a broken sleep cycle maybe?
(1)Things like finding it hard to focus at school or work, as well as not wanting to eat - or eat the right things. It can even affect sex - lack of sex drive or sexual problems; and of course - the big ones; Self harm and being suicidal. Of course not all these symptoms apply to every sufferer. Every person doesn't exhibit all of these symptoms - a range of the symptoms present however does raise concern. Any little task can make the sufferer feel exhausted and make them self conscious and anxious about themselves. (2)It can also result in angry outbursts and moodiness.
What happens with a lot of friend's of sufferers is that they blame themselves for making the other person feel miserable. (1)Depression can affect ANYONE and you have to remember it is NOT your fault if you or your friend has it - it is a brain illness. It is not caused by you. So if your friend has depression, don't think for a second that its your fault. Because its not. (1)Depression can take two paths - either the sufferer can get help and medication and lead a normal life - or it can go the other way and become life threatening and devastating.
A friend of mine quite aptly used the phrase ' their get up and go got up and went'
(1)There are many different symptoms that sufferers of depression have. They have a complete lack of energy and may feel tired a lot. They tend to sleep an awful lot as well (a friend of mine has consistent naps throughout the day) (1) complete lack of confidence and self esteem - as well as the obvious symptom of feeling sad a lot. Sufferers also may find it hard to concentrate or make decisions - They also push people away and try to isolate themselves in case they end up hurting others or bringing them down with them . Sufferers also find it hard to enjoy things. Find it hard to full 'let go of worries and just feel pleasure'. (1)They also tend to feel guilt a lot and 'worthlessness' Weirdly enough - even though sufferers may sleep a lot through the day, they actually have trouble falling asleep at night. could this may have something to do with a broken sleep cycle maybe?
(1)Things like finding it hard to focus at school or work, as well as not wanting to eat - or eat the right things. It can even affect sex - lack of sex drive or sexual problems; and of course - the big ones; Self harm and being suicidal. Of course not all these symptoms apply to every sufferer. Every person doesn't exhibit all of these symptoms - a range of the symptoms present however does raise concern. Any little task can make the sufferer feel exhausted and make them self conscious and anxious about themselves. (2)It can also result in angry outbursts and moodiness.
What happens with a lot of friend's of sufferers is that they blame themselves for making the other person feel miserable. (1)Depression can affect ANYONE and you have to remember it is NOT your fault if you or your friend has it - it is a brain illness. It is not caused by you. So if your friend has depression, don't think for a second that its your fault. Because its not. (1)Depression can take two paths - either the sufferer can get help and medication and lead a normal life - or it can go the other way and become life threatening and devastating.
A friend of mine quite aptly used the phrase ' their get up and go got up and went'
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| (5) |
WHAT CAUSES DEPRESSION?
(2) Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. There are many things that can cause these swings in chemicals. Such as it being genetic , to changes in stress levels,(2) to grief or 'difficult life circumstances'
Depression is not just subject to any one particular set of persons. It does not discriminate. Depression can affect anyone - man or woman, rich or poor. You may think 'oh what do rich people who have everything they could ever ask for have to be depressed about'? But you'd be wrong. There's no rhyme or reason for it. It just happens. You may be the luckiest person on earth and you'd still feel worthless. The worst part is, every bit of your life is controlled by this disease; family, friends, hobbies, everyday life. EVERYTHING. The sad thing is a lot of people with depression never get diagnosed. which means they can't get the help they need. the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one. (2)However a lot of people may feel ashamed that they cant control their own feelings; or self conscious of what others think of them- so they hide their worries.
(7) sometimes depression can stem from a side effect of medication. Beta blockers, or lower blood pressure tablets or even anti-epileptic drugs can result in depression. A common cause of depression however is also an under-active thyroid. (hypothyroidism)
Medication can help with depression. These are called 'Anti-depressants' How do they work?
(7)Well in your brain, there are thousands of things called 'neurons' - These send and receive information. The ones which send signals around your brain to communicate different information are called 'Neuro-transmitters'. The neuron transmitters send signals jumping across little gaps in the chain of the neurons. At the end of the other neuron, on the other side of this gap (otherwise known as a synapses) are receptors, which receive the information as it jumps across the gap, and sends it on to the next neuron. (7)However, in a depressed person, some of these receptors may be overly or under sensitive - and so send out the wrong signals around the body - the wrong hormones, the wrong emotions ect. Anti depressants help those neuro-transmitters pump out ' more positive' signals. An increase in the feel-good chemicals *Serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine. This helps balance the good emotions with the bad, and gives the individual a more healthy mood. The reason for depression comes down to the brain being unbalanced in chemicals. However the person will have to take the pills for a good few weeks before they start to see improvement. (7)It has also been proven, interestingly enough that people with depression do sometimes respond positively to the placebo effect ( being told the pill works when actually its just a sugar pill and does nothing) Whereas anti depressants alleviate the symptoms, they do not 'fix' the problem.
(9)*Serotonin is the chemical that makes you sleep, eat, feel pain and it controls your mood. People with depression have a lower output of serotonin than a healthy person would have.
(9)Norepinephrine is the chemical that controls your blood pressure, your blood vessels ect. It can trigger anxiety in people with depression.
(9)Dopamine is the chemical that allows you to understand what is reality and what isn't. It also helped you with movement. A lack in dopamine can result in hallucinations and delusions and psychosis. The effects have been likened to substance abuse if you have an imbalance in this chemical.
Medication can help with depression. These are called 'Anti-depressants' How do they work?
(7)Well in your brain, there are thousands of things called 'neurons' - These send and receive information. The ones which send signals around your brain to communicate different information are called 'Neuro-transmitters'. The neuron transmitters send signals jumping across little gaps in the chain of the neurons. At the end of the other neuron, on the other side of this gap (otherwise known as a synapses) are receptors, which receive the information as it jumps across the gap, and sends it on to the next neuron. (7)However, in a depressed person, some of these receptors may be overly or under sensitive - and so send out the wrong signals around the body - the wrong hormones, the wrong emotions ect. Anti depressants help those neuro-transmitters pump out ' more positive' signals. An increase in the feel-good chemicals *Serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine. This helps balance the good emotions with the bad, and gives the individual a more healthy mood. The reason for depression comes down to the brain being unbalanced in chemicals. However the person will have to take the pills for a good few weeks before they start to see improvement. (7)It has also been proven, interestingly enough that people with depression do sometimes respond positively to the placebo effect ( being told the pill works when actually its just a sugar pill and does nothing) Whereas anti depressants alleviate the symptoms, they do not 'fix' the problem.
(9)*Serotonin is the chemical that makes you sleep, eat, feel pain and it controls your mood. People with depression have a lower output of serotonin than a healthy person would have.
(9)Norepinephrine is the chemical that controls your blood pressure, your blood vessels ect. It can trigger anxiety in people with depression.
(9)Dopamine is the chemical that allows you to understand what is reality and what isn't. It also helped you with movement. A lack in dopamine can result in hallucinations and delusions and psychosis. The effects have been likened to substance abuse if you have an imbalance in this chemical.
(3) "It starts as sadness, then I start to feel myself shutting down, becoming less capable of coping. Eventually I just feel numb and empty."
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(3) There are four types of depression altogether;
- SAD - Seasonal Affected Disorder; which is almost a seasonal depression - usually common in winter.
- DYSTHYMIA - A mild form of depression that the sufferer has constantly for two years or more. It has two other names; persistent depressive disorder and chronic depression.
- PRETNAL DEPRESSION - this happens during when A woman is pregnant, as her hormones are all over the place as it is.
- POSTNATAL DEPRESSION - also called PND for short; this is a depression that one gets after a woman has given birth. It can become present months or days after the birth - and has been shown to affect men as well as women.
(3) "Sometimes It feels like a black hole but sometimes it feels like I need to cry and scream and kick and shout. Sometimes i go quiet and lock myself in my room and sometimes I have to be doing something at all times of the day to distract myself."
(3) In one of the videos I watched about sufferers sharing what it was like to have depression, a girl explained that it was like 'being dead behind her eyes' No emotion whatsoever. Just emptiness. Watch the clip yourself by following the link below (3) Another woman in the video said getting help with depression is like a crash diet - if you do it too fast - you may seem like you're getting somewhere at first - then you'll put it all back on. Whereas if you do it slowly and sensibly, you actually get where you need to be.
(6) Did you know Stephen Fry suffered from Depression? You probably did - but did you know he also suffered from Bipolar? I didn't. I watched a video on Youtube of him talking about his experiences with depression. He tried to kill himself 17 or 18 times! He was about to do a big show In London when he had a severe period of depression. He thought about killing himself, and was going to do it but at the last moment changed his mind and decided to get a ferry to France instead. It wasn't until he saw the worldwide hunt for him displayed in headlines on newspapers a few weeks later that he realized how much the people loved him - to be searching for him so much - and how bad he felt to have put them through that. He couldn't believe he'd made people worry so much. So he went back to London and went to the doctor, who diagnosed him with Bipolar and depression.
(7) "about two in three adults will have depression at least once in their life".
A bit of interesting history about depression
(8)The ancient Greeks thought that depression was from too much fluid in the brain. Fluids containing Blood,phlegm and yellow and black bile. Whereas early Christians were quick to blame the devil for such illnesses - said that it was failing the fight with their 'internal sin' but then the Renaissance happened and scholars started to see it was a real disease. One such scholar was Robert Burton - who actually wrote the book 'The anatomy of Melancholy' It was sort of an ironic look at his own life.
How can you help someone with depression?
The best way to help someone with depression - is to not go ' Oh yes i know what you mean - i went through something similar before when...' because they want someone to listen - not to compare. You DON'T know what they're going through. Even if you think you do. Depression is different for everyone. If you have never had it as well its not a good thing to presume. Also its not a nice thing to turn your situation on them and make it about you.
From a lot of videos I've been watching on the subject as well - the worst thing you can do is say 'Oh things will get better!' or 'other people have it worse -why are you sad?' or even ' pull yourself together!' because if they could they would. It just makes them feel more self conscious if anything. In fact, the best thing you can do is to be understanding - agree with them. don't be afraid to say 'yeh your life sucks at the moment' but then say ' Now how do we make it better?' 'Is there anything I can do to help?' 'what would you like to do?' They've heard it all before if you try and praise them, but if you are empathetic with them and understanding, they'll feel less like a target of weakness and more like they're understood and being listened to.
(10)Just listening to them will help them feel less alone and more supported; less isolated.
(10) don't push it; they will talk when good and ready. By putting pressure on them to talk about things ,you will push them away and make them close up even more. Talk about stupid things - the weather, coffee, what you did that day - and when they want to talk about it they will. It puts less pressure on them.
(10) You don't need to give them too much sympathy. They need help not pity. Send them a text now and then saying 'I'm here for you' or ''thinking of you' or 'why don't we meet up - when you're ready? no pressure' - just by letting them know you're thinking about them will help massively.
(10) Don't take their burdens onto yourself - you can help and you may feel the need to 'look after them' but the second you do that, their problems become yours. you don't want that. you want to unburden one person, not burden two people.
(10) Don't judge them - its not them - its a problem with their brain. Also saying 'cheer up' is almost a trigger phrase. It's not that easy.
(10) don't push it; they will talk when good and ready. By putting pressure on them to talk about things ,you will push them away and make them close up even more. Talk about stupid things - the weather, coffee, what you did that day - and when they want to talk about it they will. It puts less pressure on them.
(10) You don't need to give them too much sympathy. They need help not pity. Send them a text now and then saying 'I'm here for you' or ''thinking of you' or 'why don't we meet up - when you're ready? no pressure' - just by letting them know you're thinking about them will help massively.
(10) Don't take their burdens onto yourself - you can help and you may feel the need to 'look after them' but the second you do that, their problems become yours. you don't want that. you want to unburden one person, not burden two people.
(10) Don't judge them - its not them - its a problem with their brain. Also saying 'cheer up' is almost a trigger phrase. It's not that easy.
(11)You as a friend of a sufferer will feel lots of different emotions ; helplessness, anger, frustration, ect. You need to let those feelings pass, as blackmailing the sufferer with 'I can't cope anymore, either you improve or I'm gone' will not help at all. It'll push them further into that darkness. believe me, I know from experience. I get frustrated at my friend sometimes, as it feels like a broken record - the same thing over and over, but you have to do it. As a friend it is your duty to help your friends and it won't be easy but you can only keep plodding on until you get somewhere. (11) Never be an enabler though - never hide their problem or make excuses for it It won't help them at all.
(11)Things you can say that might help;
- I'm here for you, you don't have to be alone. I will support you
- you might not feel like it, but the way you feel with get better
- I might not be you and understand what you feel like but I want to help in any way I can
- Don't give up - when you feel like doing that, just hold on a little bit longer- an hour, a day, ect - do what you can manage and you might feel a bit better by the end of it
- You are my friend/boyfriend/girlfriend - you're extremely important to me.
- How can I help? tell me what you want me to do.
(11)Things that you should NOT say as they wont help at all.
- It's not real. It's all in your mind.
- I know what you mean, we all go through things
- Look on the bright side - every cloud has silver lining.
- Why on earth do you want to kill yourself when you have so Much good stuff to live for?
- I don't know what you want from me. I can't help
- Just grow up and pull yourself together!
- What on earth is the matter with you? Whats wrong with you?!
- Shouldn't you be over it/better by now?
(11)when caring for someone with depression - as I've said before, It's important not to get bogged down with psychological resentment or feeling burnt out. You can't be a 'caretaker' for them - so don't try, you'll just exhaust yourself. Be a loving friend and offer as much emotional support as you can, without changing your own life. You need to continue your life otherwise you'll be dragged down with them. Depression is a horrible thing that takes over everything and everyone if you let it. You need to have realistic expectations - things are not going to just improve and get better overnight. It takes time. Baby steps.
The best way I can explain having depression is this ; if someone breaks their leg, you go to the doctors. When someone breaks their brain - you should also go. mental illnesses are like broken limbs in your head. But as people can't see it they dismiss it.
(12) issues sufferers of depression may experience:
- Having often argument with people closest to them such as partners and family
- The feeling that the sufferer can't talk to people about their problems
- They don't feel they have anyone to talk to about much at all
- There's always stress about something; money, college, uni, friends, family situations- job, just general worries that get too much.
- money problems such as debt and loans
- Not liking where they live and/or being homesick
- work is too hard or people there aren't nice or get on badly with the autism sufferer.
- Not liking their job.
(13) Depression can also be spotted by these symptoms/characteristics:
1. Being bored a lot - having no way to fulfill themselves. it may look like laziness or just an inability to join in with things2. being stubborn
3. avoiding people or places
4. decline in grades and doing badly at school.
5.over sleeping, yawning all day and having trouble staying awake
6. arguing about everything with everyone
7.being very negative and rude
8. not being very understanding or sensitive to others
9.having angry outbursts and tantrums
10. not being able to start of maintain things, such as hobbies or jobs
11. eating loads of junk food and avoiding eating with families or in groups
12. hiding away from people in their rooms and behaving secretive
13. Being quiet and withdrawn
(14a) Here are some things that people might say if they think they know someone with depression:
- He or she is acting weird. Doesn't seem themselves.
- I feel like they just don't care anymore. That they're not bothered
- He or she just seems restless all the time
- Every-time I ask if they want to hang out they don't want to
- They seem sad a lot and daydream a lot. ("looking into space" ect)
- He/she wants to be on her/his own a lot.
- He/she doesn't talk or smile much
- They used to be so enthusiastic and happy with their life and now they just seem so down and sad.
- "I don't know whats wrong with them!"
- They don't seem to be in control of anything anymore
- they have no idea of whats going on around them!
- I can't ever seem to cheer them up!
(14b) Depression can also stem from parental influence. A lot of people who had parents that maybe weren't there for them or were not together as a couple due to divorce, or maybe having died, have shown signs of depression. Also parents who did not display signs of attachment to a child may have caused their children to develop this illness. Being there physically but not really showing signs of love or care ( maybe due to high stress jobs or always being busy) the child will start to think maybe they are not important enough and that their parents don't care about them. Maybe the parents hit or abused the child which lowers their trust for other people, resulting in them feeling isolated which can trigger depression. Even being overly critical of your children can lower their self esteem and make them sink into depression, or perhaps parents that argued a lot and threatened to leave and not come back. These are all terrible excuses for parenting strategies. Even being too affectionate can cause depression. A parent that relys on the child's company all the time put the child in the position of the adult and themselves in the position of child. Reversing roles and being too needy results in the child not having a healthy relationship with their parents which may have lasting neuro-logical effects.
(14c) Most people with depression exaggerate circumstances (even though depression IS a massive deal, theres no depute about that) by making assumptions, as I mentioned before about the paranioa of people talking about them. Things may get blown out of proportion with comments such as ' If I can't do it right the first time, perfectly then what's the point in doing it in the first place?' or 'No one likes me really - its all an act'. Even by making statements that are exaggerated completely such as ' Losing my job has ruined my entire life. I've never done anything worthwhile in my life". You need to help them, as a friend or partner, to remain optermistic whenever you can.
References for Depression
(1)http://www.depressionalliance.org/information/what-depression
(2)http://www.depressiontoolkit.org/aboutyourdiagnosis/depression.asp
(3)http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/?gclid=Cj0KEQjw2ua8BRDeusOkl5qth4QBEiQA8BpQcD3LOnmMLrKX8Xd4A5Nsiy8VNSWFoTey-p2mrYQlBRwaAvkl8P8HAQ#.V5njP7grLIU
(4)https://thecatholicgeeks.com/2015/06/18/a-look-inside-depression/
(5)http://metro.co.uk/2015/01/04/depression-could-be-an-allergy-according-to-scientists-5009141/
(6)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcPRF9slENI
(7)http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/0/22020430
(8)http://www.medicaldaily.com/science-depression-biology-behind-darker-mind-299078
(9)http://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/what-causes-depression
(10)http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/for-friends-and-family/#.V5oEOLgrLIU
(11)http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/helping-a-depressed-person.htm
Books
(12)How to cope successfully with depression by Dr Tom Smith
ISB: 1 903784 14 x first published in 2004 by Wellhouse Publishing LtdPage 62
(13)Teenage depression A CBT guide for parents by Monika Parkinson and Shirley Reynolds
ISBN: 978 1 4721 1454 9 first published in 2015 by Robinsons.
(14)When someone you love has depression BY Barbara Baker
ISBN: 978 1 84709 256 4 first published in 2003 by Sheldon Press
(14a) page 8
(14b) page 37
(14c) page 84
(2)http://www.depressiontoolkit.org/aboutyourdiagnosis/depression.asp
(3)http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/?gclid=Cj0KEQjw2ua8BRDeusOkl5qth4QBEiQA8BpQcD3LOnmMLrKX8Xd4A5Nsiy8VNSWFoTey-p2mrYQlBRwaAvkl8P8HAQ#.V5njP7grLIU
(4)https://thecatholicgeeks.com/2015/06/18/a-look-inside-depression/
(5)http://metro.co.uk/2015/01/04/depression-could-be-an-allergy-according-to-scientists-5009141/
(6)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcPRF9slENI
(7)http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/0/22020430
(8)http://www.medicaldaily.com/science-depression-biology-behind-darker-mind-299078
(9)http://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/what-causes-depression
(10)http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/for-friends-and-family/#.V5oEOLgrLIU
(11)http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/helping-a-depressed-person.htm
Books
(12)How to cope successfully with depression by Dr Tom Smith
ISB: 1 903784 14 x first published in 2004 by Wellhouse Publishing LtdPage 62
(13)Teenage depression A CBT guide for parents by Monika Parkinson and Shirley Reynolds
ISBN: 978 1 4721 1454 9 first published in 2015 by Robinsons.
(14)When someone you love has depression BY Barbara Baker
ISBN: 978 1 84709 256 4 first published in 2003 by Sheldon Press
(14a) page 8
(14b) page 37
(14c) page 84
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